Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Lennie Small of porn stars

Skimming along in an article titled: Prevent STD's Like a Porn Star, I read all about a convenient company, Talent TestingService. They provide adult performers with test's for a variety of transmittable diseases. Conveniently providing the results for clients on the set or before hand via The Onlines.

So there I am, perusing along, gaining much of the information from the interviewed couple, who would soon begin a professional relationship. The female, Dylan Ryan, mentions that she has never contracted a venereal, has an average of five different sexual partners a month professionally, and uses condoms with men when off the clock. Awesome as that is, I had to pause when the male, Danny Wylde, informed that he contracted chlamydia or gonorrhea at least once a year. No big deal like. Nothing a dosing of antibiotics can't take care of.

Mr. Wyldes honesty is commendable, and his nonchalance is neither surprising or scandalizing. My issue with his confession was while Ms. Ryan has managed to stay infection free, he is running around contracting disease annually. I'll admit finishing the article leaves me with the impression that Danny may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but isn't there a point where one would learn? Is there no fretting that having to take antibiotics routinely might result is some sort of immunity? Does he not simply worry about ending up with a distressing case of incurable crotch rot? How many partners get a little something to regret him by before his monthly STD check catches his most resent bout of the clap?

But what's really got me stumped, is how a male, who is under the impression that the likelihood of him contracting HIV is less of a concern because he only sleeps with women, hasn't tripped, fallen into the toilet, and drowned?

I'd much rather watch this guy get his freak on:

6 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Danny has a common problem: when his dick swells, his brain falls into it.

Bonus question: Which recently deceased movie star played a character called Danny Wilde in a TV show? You look too young to know.

Gorilla Bananas said...

The guy in the photo could give a leopard a blowjob if he made the right growling noises.

Emma Claw said...

I may be to young to know about The Persuaders!, Mr. Bananas, but what I lack in age, I make up, with the proper use of search engines. Tony Curtis—born Bernard Schwartz—portrayed the role of Danny Wilde and passed away on Sept. 29. 2010. Right? Now let's talk prizes, yes?

Emma Claw said...

The gentleman decked out in leopard could give my neighbor a blow job—sans proper growling.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Well done, madam, you win a gold banana for your brilliant use of search engines. The best part of The Persuaders! was the opening credits, featuring a marvelous theme tune composed by the late John Barry. Here is it just for you.

Emma Claw said...

I can't think of one thing that would make those opening credits better. It has me envious of traveling playboys.