Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Emma Claw, Love Doctor and Anarchist Dater Extraordinaire.

As a preference, I don't generally take the traditional approach to dating, preferring a Darwinism approach to my love life. I won't go into the semantics of how I wade through suitors, but if you're familiar with the show Gladiator, that can give you a pretty good idea.

After twenty some years of staring at strangers in the midst of the primal dance of lust, I haven't become so disillusioned to consider myself any kind of expert--yet--but I insist anyway on imparting some advice, for those of you looking for love in all the wrong places.

I have an inkling, that there are a few of you reading articles, and how to books on the who, what, where, and why of finding the right significant other. I want to discourage you from this, it will only confuse and befuddle. An example will be included here, to clear up any confusion on what literature should be avoided. It's also come to my understanding, there are a set of rules, in which one is supposed to go about during the entire courting process. Before and after finding The One. Riiight. I'm not one for rules, a true rebel at heart I be. I would encourage the same behavior of all. The staple of putting expectations on what has to happen in order to find a proper match is tedious and really who benefits from all these nay-says? Not you, square.

The breeders out there, who haven't yet had the opportunity to contribute to the continuance of humanity, may be getting a little itchy at the prospect of not knowing how to find your baby daddy/mamma. Relax. You will likely have no issue finding your true and only without the stipulations in place. It may actually be easier, and if anything there will be fun to be had. I feel a strong conviction that without the misconceptions placed around the shroud of finding a suitable partner, many hearts shall be spared—not all, mind you, but a significant change in the statistic ought to show.

Happy hunting.


Gorilla Bananas said...

Isn't there a book called 'The Rules' for women? I think its main idea is that a girl should wear a padlock on her crotch until a man proposes to her. I'm glad you don't follow such rules, it would cramp your style.

Emma Claw said...

Thank you, Mr. Bananas. Your intuition is spot on as always. It would most defenatly cramp my style and make for a very grumpy Emma.

Emma Claw said...

The padlock sounds like it would chafe the naughty bits.