Emma's take on boys and girls

There seems to be a lot of confusion between the sexes, and what do we usually do when we don't understand something? Fight about it amongst ourselves--duh. So, the debate, slash, battle between the sexes rages, in a never ending struggle for one to prove supremacy over the other. One—of many—complaints from both parties is an uncertainty of what the other truly desires from their mate.

Men, you may have heard that we females desire a 'bad' boy. The rebel. A Casanova. Someone, in which we can exclaim: “But I love him!” to Mommy and Daddy. A man's, man is what we pine after. I won't deny, there may be a molecule of truth within the rumor—who would be truly content in a stepford relationship--but that doesn't mean most sensible woman want to end up as the next feature on Cheaters and/or Cops. I understand how some of you gentlemen may misinterpret; the ol' “make them feel bad about themselves and they'll be thanking you to sleep with them” ruse works. Almost flawlessly. There are enough of us who continue to get acquainted with you biblically, that it's little wonder you would want to change your tactics. As they say, if it's not broken don't fix it.

Ladies, I know how difficult it can be to process copious amounts of estrogen and remain sane, but let me remind you of our foremothers who burned their bras in order for us to have the rights we enjoy today. Voting, driving, and being allowed out at night are just a few liberation’s they sacrificed lingerie for. There are times, in which we're even thought of as more than a womb, breathlessly awaiting to receive a male's seed—go team! Unfortunately not all of us are behaving in a favorable manner. Just ask Biz Markie, he can explain to you all about the girl he gave his heart to, after he asked if she was available, and she assured that she only had a 'friend'. A year to make love he waited! 365 days of celibacy, a difficult task for most of us sinners. The sacrifice he made was gallant, only to find his intended with another fellow, their tongue in his affections mouth. His heart? Shattered. Our excuse/argument for these types of actions? Sexual liberation, or if you want to get scientific with it: fucking like dudes. That, or you've stopped making us feel special.

Communication seems to be the obvious issue here. Men are from Mars, women Venus, and all that propaganda, with no real solution presenting itself. Oh, we've heard your complaints gentlemen, about mixed signals and what not—we just don’t care. And most of us know you're just doing what's necessary to get your pet dragon fondled. The reasons for it all are inconsequential, the real importance is that the fighting must continue. It's like the Circle of Life, it moves us all. Without it, the universe would likely fold in on itself and there would be no more sex. For anybody. We'd all be losers then.

As a bonus, I've included a link to some fascinating material correlating the male I.Q and the size of his penis. Quite informative. Friends, think about vacationing to the Congo or Ecuador.