Friday, June 17, 2011

Yo Haters! You Best Check Yo' Self, Before You Wreck Yo' Self(s).

It's the dawn of a new era—when isn't it?

Throughout the history of civilized society, life choices—especially those dealing with sexuality and race—have been questioned, and ostracized for going against the norm.

The why's of this in our past make sense to me—it's to be expected when most civilizations, colonies, kingdoms--et cetera, et cetera--believed in magic. What baffles--and slightly irritates me-- is that with all the advances that we've made as a whole on the planet Earth, there are still many in the world that want to judge and hate on others.

The haters out there baffle me. I understand they are probably bored, so going to the local hate rally is akin to a night on the town, but surely there are other activities in which they would be able to attend that would prove to be just as entertaining.

I asked a friend what she thought should be done with all the haters, a way to give them a taste of their own medicine. Her response:

“We should hang them by individual strings attached to each metacarpal and phalanx, once restrained we will then proceed to tickle the offender.”

I agreed.

It would work perfectly. It won't be painful—in the beginning, eventually discomfort would likely set in—and the situation would be an almost poetic justice. The bully would get a taste of their own medicine, the tickles serving as a garnish to the humiliation and the universal law—treat others as you would want to be treated—would be upheld.


Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm a virtuoso tickle-torturer, Emma, but I wouldn't want to do it to someone I didn't like. Let me know if this video gets you in the mood.

Emma Claw said...

Yes, Mr. Bananas. Very little can compare to a tickle party.